LOVE N BODY LANGUAGE

Awarded March 21, 2002 In recognition of creativity, integrity and excellence on the Web. Information on this page taken from How to Read a Man or a Woman Like a Book! by L. A. Justice Also visit LoveMatch and Dating Tips for Introverts FLIRTING TIPS These are the right and wrong ways to show the object of your affection that you're interested in getting more personal: Don't turn away scan the room give a phony smile Do lean in toward the object of your desire give a genuine smile focus your eyes on your subject tilt the head to the side back to the top Is S/he Interested? A man who is interested will ... ... hold your glance a little longer ... make eye contact, look away, then glance again in your direction. It's a sign that he wants to get to know you better. ... touch your arm, hand or shoulder lightly as you talk. The message is "I'm friendly." ... smooth his clothing or run a hand through his hair, which says, "I want to look good for you." ... lean in toward you. ... fondle a chain or cigarette. This is a sign that he wants more intimate contact. ... swagger and flex his muscles. This age-old display of masculinity is not much different than a peacock displaying his tail feathers! ... speak low so only you can hear, thus inviting you into his space and making the conversation exclusive between the two of you. back to the top A woman who is interested will ... ... give a sidelong glance. In this coy, flirtatious gesture, the woman stares boldly while lowering the head and tilting it away, giving the message, "I am shy, yet bold." ... wink! ... run a hand over her exposed leg, indicating that more intimate contact is welcome. ... slip a shoe off and dangle it from the toes -- or remove an earring. These "undressing" signals are very suggestive and inviting. ... touch his thigh or knee. The length of time she allows it to rest there heightens the intensity of desire. Rubbing it back and forth provides a signal that's as clear as it gets. back to the top HEAD TILTING Men and women do this upon meeting. When it is accompanied by a smile, it says, "I'm a friendly person." Tilting the head while listening shows you are very interested. But a backward head tilt says, "I'm superior." Shoulders: The shrug, raising one's shoulders, tilting the head to the side and extending the palms, says, "I give up." It's a way to show you are harmless and approachable. Pigeon Toes: While most people don't look at the feet, standing with toes pointing inward is an inviting gesture. It's the bottom half's counterpart to the shrug. More signals from her: These common body signals are directed toward a guy a woman find attractive. parting her lips and licking them stroking and flicking her hair massaging her head and neck crossing and uncrossing her legs pointing a knee in his direction More signals from him: These common body signs are directed toward a woman a guy finds attractive. massaging his outer thigh narrowing his eyes while he is talking to her hooking his thumb in his belt loops adjusting his cuffs, flicking dust from his jacket or smoothing his hair stroking the jaw rolling a glass or pen between his palms back to the top MORE LOVE SIGNALS Do What I Do: unlike mirroring , which is a sitting or standing posture, isopraxism is "same behavior" -- walking in the same way, eating at the same speed or taking a sip of your drink together. Eyelashes: This gesture is a dead giveaway that the hormones are racing. When the body is aroused, lashes flutter faster than a hummingbird's wings. Mascara and false eyelashes enhance this signal, making it impossible for a man to miss. Self-Touching: When people are unsure of themselves in a social setting, they often wrap their arms around the torso, hugging themselves. This gesture controls anxiety. Likewise, when someone receives a romantic cue, he or she will often touch an earlobe or rub an arm, leg or the chest area. The Smile: A simple, closed mouth smile is a courtesy and nothing more. An upper smile -- where the top teeth show -- is an invitation. An open smile -- where both top and bottom teeth show and the eyes crinkle -- is an out-and-out invitation to get sociable. back to the top SITTING The Sloucher: Cuddling into a chair shows a relaxed attitude toward life. Slouchers are really saying, "I want to be held." The Sprawler: The sprawler is an uninhibited lover who has few hangups about sex. When sprawlers sit, they take up the whole chair with their bodies inviting you in to their party. The Ramrod: This is someone who sits at attention, back straight, knees together and feet planted firmly on the floor. If you're looking for someone who's a free spirit, look elsewhere. The Retreater: Retreaters back into a chair as far as they can, pulling their legs back underneath them. This says, "You're going to have to work hard to make me enjoy this." The Leg Crosser: With legs crossed and knees grasped firmly, the leg crosser is saying, "I need some convincing before this goes any further." While they may not be shy or uninterested in sex, leg crossers simply need a little more time before making a decision. The Squirmer: People who have trouble sitting in one position for any length of time are usually athletic paramours. They clutch, squeeze and changes positions while in bed. Making love becomes a sporting event -- with everyone in the game a winner! The Rebel: A rebel will sit in an unconventional way -- facing backwards, perching on an armrest, perhaps with a foot tucked underneath or better yet on a cozy beanbag chair. These people often look for new and unusual places for lovemaking. back to the top WHEN NOT TO WASTE YOUR TIME The Cold Shoulder: After eye contact is made, one party turns his or her back on the other. This shutting-off gestures says, "I'm not interested." The Cut-Off: Using a more direct approach, a woman comes up to a man face-to-face. If he turns away so he is now sideways to her, the message is, "Go away." It's the same story if this happens when a man approaches a woman. No Reaction: If you encounter a blank stare, tight lips, no smile, fluttering eyelids or fidgeting, you can bet there's no interest. The message is loud and clear, "Move on." Yet amazingly, some men and women find that attitude challenging. Instead of using their energy on someone else who might really care, they banter away trying to soften the stony face. Don't bother. [Nancy's note: They are trained by the stony indifference of a parent to think this is love.] Freezing: This can be different than no reaction. Sometimes a likely love interest is so overwhelmed with the new attention that he or she remains immobile. Or, perhaps, there really is no interest. But how can you tell the difference? If you receive a smile,it's usually a good sign. Tense Lips: This is a sign of displeasure. It's a natural sign of distaste and a negative social cue. If a woman's lips are pursed when a man approaches -- and she may even bite her lower lip -- the message is "back off." back to the top HOW TO WIN HIM/HER Sending signals with your body language can be much more powerful than the spoken word. Make eye contact. A longing look at the right moment that captures the attention of the other person should cause the heart to skip a beat. It says, "I've noticed you and I like what I see." Strike a pose. But make sure your posture is open and tells the other person you're available. Turn your body completely in the direction of your target. Smooth your hair. This is a signal that you want to look good for the person you are interested in. Do it when you know that person is looking your way. However, this gesture should not be overdone or you will appear vain and self-absorbed. Toy with your jewelry. If you're a woman, this is a sensuous way to tell a stranger that you're ready for some fun and adventure -- and that you wouldn't mind some company! Smile! There's nothing more devastatingly attractive than a friendly smile with twinkling eyes If the smile is returned, you're well on your way to romance. I know of another way to tell if a man or woman is interested...their pupils. If the pupils are dilated then that person is saying they like what they see. If the pupils are very small then they would like to shut you out. All of this is true for me except if the person wears glasses or the lighting is very bright.  When it comes to love and romance, actions speak louder than words. While it may take only a few seconds to size up a person, those few seconds count when you are trying to make a positive first impression on someone from the opposite sex. In these kinds of situations, body language kicks in from the start. Both men and women send out signals. The trick is knowing how to recognize and then interpret those signals. Women seem to have a better understanding of how their signals affect others. Unfortunately, not all men are quite as good at observing what those signals are, and may be even worse at responding to them. The problem is that sometimes men (and women) either miss the signals or get them confused. Releasing Endorphins A smile is something that radiates from within, telling the other person a lot about your inner feelings. You can’t fake a sincere smile, which is probably why the opposite sex takes it as a genuine show of interest. If your top and bottom teeth show when you smile, you are letting the other person know that you really do want to get sociable. Research tells us that the body releases endorphins when we smile. So not only does smiling make you feel good, it makes the other person feel good, too. A true smile gets the person to trust you as well. Flirting Poses or Gestures When it comes to love and romance, body language actions speak louder than words. A woman who gives a man a lingering look is telling him that she is interested and would like to get to know him better. She may also hold a man’s gaze briefly, turning her body toward him. A slow turn of the head may be perceived by a man as an invitation to come closer. Even though women are more apt to use body language gestures to attract attention, men also exhibit certain postures when flirting. If a man sees a woman he finds attractive, he may try to make himself appear taller and stronger. While some men put their hands on their hips or thumbs in their belt loops in an effort to appear macho, other men may be subtler and do things like running a hand through their hair or playing with their ties. Body position is frequently a clue indicating romantic interest. The other person may either face you directly, or angle his or her body in your direction if interested. Holding the palms of the hands open and upright is another sign that the person is inviting more attention from you. If you are a man, a woman sitting with legs slightly apart may be a signal for you to make a move, especially if she points a knee in your direction. You’ve probably made it to first base if her legs are crossed and she has a foot pointed at you. Getting Physical A light touch on the back, shoulder or arm may seem innocent at first, but could mean that the person wants to touch you more. When a man does this he may be telling you that he is friendly, but would like to get more personal. Usually, when a man is attracted to a woman, he can’t resist touching her. A woman may also touch a man’s knee or thigh as an expression of interest. If she wants to get more suggestive, she may remove an earring, or slip off a shoe and dangle it from her toes. Men should know that when a woman’s eyelashes flutter, you’ve got her hormones all stirred up. Another romantic cue is if she touches an earlobe or rubs one of her arms or legs. Someone mimicking your body language is probably the most obvious sign of true interest. Although mimicking is often a subconscious behavior, as the other person might not even realize that he or she is copying your behavior, it generally is a natural instinct when we try to get closer to someone whom we admire.